A quarter century ago on a chilly night in a suburb just outside of Chicago, a 10lb 3oz baby opened his eyes to the world. Those in attendance that evening say his birth was anything short of a miracle! Doctors called in other doctors, nurses called in other nurses, family called family, and friends called friends, as they witnessed what no one had witnessed before - -An infant WALKING away from the delivery room on two feet!
Doctor John Doe (name remains ambiguous for obvious reasons) commented that as Peter walked out the hospital door, he looked over his shoulder at the room full of people and simply said, "Thanks Doc."
This was the first sign that The Great White Hype would take the world by storm!
Childhood was all but normal for Pete. His fearless attitude and relentless disposition proved to intimidate any man or woman he came in contact with. He would lead an abnormal routine day in and day out: Sleeping on 2x4 boards for exactly 1 hour every night. Eating 8 meals per day. Moving out of his parent's house at age 11. Being accepted into the military at age 12 only to be honorably discharged from boot camp for the safety of drill officers. Adopting hobbies such as: bull taming, coal dancing, base jumping, giraffe hunting, and bullet dodging. Yes this might seem extraordinary to the ordinary, but this is merely a scratch on the surface of the things Peter does to pass his time!
High school and college was tough for The Pistol, as he was banned from any sports for his hasty dominance and lackluster conquest of any competitors put in front of him. Pete always laughs at the claims of those like Ms. Bingawoman regarding being the alleged "Captain" of his high school sports teams. Labels like this are what Pete refers to as "cute" and "adorable"; two words in which have never been used to describe The Pistol.
Pete is currently spending this part of his life on the beaches of San Diego. He is the owner/lead professor of the growingly popular academy, "How to Be a Man". A school in which men find the true answers of what it takes to leap over the line from boyhood and courageously step into manhood. References include, but are not limited to: Debra Minchey- server/motivator at Pf Changs China Bistro, as she was quoted claiming, "I would sign my guy up for your seminars in a heartbeat!"
Scientists keep constant surveillance of The Great White Hype in anticipation of breakthrough data answering questions such as: Is immortality a reality? Are there living superheros walking the streets? What is invincibility? Can a man live more than 200 years? And despite the media's claim of a rictor-scale 7.2 earthquake this Easter Sunday, educated insiders hold confidential that the tremors were actually results from Peter's beach workout getting out of hand (something he is legally forbidden to do without proper supervision)
When confronted with the opportunity to take part in Summer of Man 2010, his reaction was, "I'm going to steal first place quicker than Zack steals lucrative tables from his co-workers sections!"
The championship mug may as well be engraved with his name now, for this man truly has the eye of a tiger, and dares any challenger to compete with his ferocity.
Good luck to the other 5, as your quest towards 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th place shall be a valiant one . . .
i read this post and all i can think is how cute AND adorable the great white hype is
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