1. Bing can handle his alcohol better than previously thought. Granted, Matt has a tendency to get completly shit faced and make a spectacle of himself. We all have met Drunk Bing and have been accosted by him. But Tuesday night, Bing overcame the stereotype of getting hammered and losing his logical thinking abilities and pulled out a huge win. After posting a zero on the first challenge of the summer, poker night was a close to a must win that you can get. Jen Hart actually picked against Bing as the favorite to win for the simple reason that she thought if alcohol was involved, Bing would be a non factor. If we can glean anything from his win on Tuesday, its this: When Bing has his mind set on something, no amount of Jim Beam or cleavage is going to get in his way. A humongous win that basically keeps him in the competition.
2. Jantz doesn't like pressure. The favorite tag was affixed atop the pointy tall shoulders of Jantz and when he was dropped second, a question arose? Was Jason an overhyped number one coming in or did he underperform at his most critical hour? For Jantz's sake hopefully it's the former and not the latter.
3. Peter held on the title of top man for a mere day. This one hurts. After Pete swept the first competition in dramatic fashion, outplaying the rest of the field by 15 strokes. A short 24 hours later, he was bumped from his number one throne by (a more deserving leader/man) me. A crown I have the honor of wearing for one week (or approximately 144 hours more than Pete). So not only was Peter's reign as top man cut short, but being the first challenger bounced out of the tourney (and early I might add), he was forced to sit around and watch the action instead of being in on the action. A bitter, bitter two points I imagine.
4. Bing can not do 70 pushups. I can type this previous sentence with as much confidence as possible. Two things we know. Bing did 61 pushups (66 if you count the ones he didn't execute properly). Molly stepped on his back at 61, thus ending the contest. Those two things are facts. What can only be speculation is that Bing was not going to make it to 70. He was fading fast. His back was sagging. His arms were trembling. And he needed 9 more. I'm of the opinion that Molly saved him rather than sabotaged him. I'm also 43% sure that there's a conspiracy theory that this was a pre-arranged sabotage. Molly was paid off to sit by the door and when it looked like he wasn't going to make it, she was supposed to make a dramatic entrance and screw him up somehow. I believe this as well as the theory that all playoff NBA games are rigged to go to 7 games for increased advertising profits and that Bigfoot lives in Wyoming under the pseudonym Tommy Tutone.
5. I can bluff my ass off. All week long, I made a valiant attempt to persuade the rest of the challengers that I was a dumbass when it came to playing poker. I did such a great job that I was regarded as a non factor in the game and by the time everyone realized that I'm the Matt Damon Rounders character of the green felted jungle, it was too late. I dropped Peter like a bad habit (which Bing was correct in his critique of this overused term; bad habits are actually very hard to drop), I enraged Jantz, outlasted Anthony and barely (ace 9 to my ace 7) lost to Bing in the end. Welcome to Poker Face 101 boys, I'm your Professor...Mr. Number One Man.
6. Look at the scoreboard.
7. Having a cocktail waitress at a private game of poker in theory is better than having a cocktail waitress at a private game of poker in reality. (especially if you have girlfriends)
I'm sure there are more things to be discussed that came out of the second challenge of the summer, but unfortunately I have to dress up like a ninja and serve asian food to fat people. On a final note, Ant has let me know that tshirts will be available possibly as soon as Friday (tomorrow). We're gonna look good at the bowling alley!
Leaderally yours,
z$
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