Football Challenge Update

After long last here are the football and soccer challenge scores. We based our challenge after the Punt Pass and Kick Competition made famous by the NFL All Star Weekend Halftime show. I was going to post a link showing how we matched up to our 12 year old counterparts but they measured everything in feet and I'm lazy right now and didn't feel like converting it to yards and I also didn't want to find out that some little twerp owned us. The Man Challengers met up early in the morning at the OB fields so that the weak ass frosted flake could make it before work and **gasp** he didn't make it, deciding to sleep in instead. The 8 AM start time could be pointed to as the reason for our uncharacterstic weak performances. Although when it comes down to it, kicking a field is alot harder than it looks. Don't believe me? Go out and try it. Jantz with his long ass legs ended up winning the FG portion of our challenge, but as a group we were pretty bad as a whole. I have a newfound respect for NFL kickers after this challenge. Jantz's kick I would guess was maybe a 30 yarder and was the long kick of the day. Rudy and I both tried and failed at that distance and moved five yards (and then another 5 yards) closer, until Rudy finally kicked one through the uprights and I shanked mine. Ant hit at that distance as well, but had already used his one mulligan and came in fourth with Bing being the weakest link and from what I remember, not even being able to get the kick up in the air.

The second challenge was the punt which was dismal to say the least. We each had three kicks and we'd be taking our best kick out of those three. Ant started out and he felt that he didn't get his best kick in and ended up rolling his best maybe 40 yards or so. I went second and also rolled one up the field past Ant's best but still nothing spectacular. Rudy ended up getting a couple better kicks off as well as Bing but Jantz's long legs prevailed again (as well as his shoe change). Sidenote: Jantz brought five or so pairs of shoes, changing each time from challenge to challenge. We mocked him mercilessly, but it may actually have worked given his success.

The third challenge was Passing Accuracy which technically wasn't part of the initial challenge but was added last minute so that everything wasn't based on strength, but also on a little bit of touch. We stood 15 yards apart and threw from a flat footed stance. A shot to the chest was worth a point and a head shot was worth two. You had ten throws and most points won. Ant took first with a 14, I came in second with 13 and the rest of the turds were less than that. I don't really remember and Bing lost the scorecard so who really knows the actual scores.

The last challenge was the long throw which we decided was a mix of strength (how far) and accuracy (had to be between the uprights). Each challenger had one mulligan and we started out at the twenty yard line and moved back five yards after every successful throw. Rudy won the challenge throwing all the way back on maybe the 40 yard line but it could have been alot closer than that. I'm just guessing.

At the end of the challenge, after all the points had been added up from each challenge, we had two ties. One tie for third and fourth between Ant and I (which we dubbed Battle of Club Grand) and the other tie for first place between Rudy and Jantz. Bing offered up quite possibly the most genius idea that man challenge has had up to this point.

The tie breaker would be decided by Oklahomas.

For those of you unfamiliar with this term, let me explain. Oklahomas are a drill run routinely on every practice football field from San Francisco to New York City. Two men lay on the ground head to head with one holding a football. On the whistle the two men spring to action with the goal of the ball carrier breaking past the defender to cross a line ten yards away. The defender's goal is to (pardon me mother) knock the shit out of the ball carrier. An unsuccessful try means the ball is passed to the other until a goal is scored at which point in time the loser has the chance to score to tie it back up. It is a quintessential man challenge. Ant and I ran at each other 14 times I think? before Ant finally pulled a sweet move on me and broke the goal line and then stopped my rebuttal by knocking me down and causing a fumble. Jantz and Rudy also had a similiar confrontation, running into each other 14 times as well until Rudy finally just bulldozed over a much lighter Jantz. I'll just say shoe string tackle by Jantz and leave it at that because that will bring a smile to the faces of those of us involved, which was probably the highlight of the Oklahomas. Rudy ended up with the top spot, which was huge because that was his first first place finish in SOM. Ant wrapped up third and ironically enough Bing, Mr. Football-the man who came up with the OK idea and was the most stoked about it, didn't get to participate in one Oklahoma and ended up in last place. An odd detail to say the least. For some reason I didn't realize this that day. The early start maybe making me a bit fuzzy. So to break it all down....

Field Goal Kick

1st Jantz 6 pts

2nd Zach 5 pts

3rd Rudy 4 pts

4th Ant 3 pts

5th Bing 2 pts

Punt

1st Jantz 6 pts

2nd Bing 5 pts

3rd Rudy 4 pts

4th Zach 3 pts

5th Ant 2 pts

Pass

1st Rudy 6 pts

2nd Bing 5 pts

3rd Ant 4 pts

4th Jantz 3 pts

5th Zach 2 pts

Passing Accuracy

1st Ant 6 pts

2nd Zach 5 pts

3rd Rudy 4 pts

4th Jantz 3 pts

5th Bing 2 pts

tie breaker sant zach third and fourth in football

jantz and rudy first and second in football

Final results for the Football Challenge

1st Rudy 18

2nd Jantz 18

3rd Ant 15

4th Zach 15

5th Bing 14

Even the Mexican in Rudy couldn't save the Soccer Challenge

Soccer was an interesting challenge to say the least. Landon Donovan we are not. Nothing highlighted this glaring discrepancy more than the precision shooting challenge. After yours truly owned, hitting both goal posts and the cross bar waaaaaaaay before any of the other challengers, the remaining four men failed to draw iron time and time again. After an embarassing amount of attempts (basically we stood 15 yards away from the goal and aimed at each post, each man getting three tries each round) they decided to step back another 30 yards or so and just shoot at the goal. This also proved way too hard. So they stepped up 10 yards and again...too hard. Finally after getting within 15 yards or so, they finally began scoring goals. It was not pretty. The scores...

Precision Shooting

1st Zach 6 pts

2nd Jantz 5 pts

3rd Bing 4 pts

4th Rudy 3 pts

5th Ant 2 pts

Our first challenge though going into the soccer part of the day was juggling. Jantz barely eeked out a one point win, though if I remember correctly 14 was the magic number. I think I hit 2 or 3. Pretty pitiful.

Juggling

1st Jantz 6 pts

2nd Bing 5 pts

3rd Ant 4 pts

4th Rudy 3 pts

5th Zach 2 pts

For the goalie portion of the contest, each man had to defend the goal as the rest of the men lined up and shot penalty kicks at them. Jantz proved to be a wall, blocking the most shots with his long spindly arms.

Soccer Goalie

1st Jantz 6 pts

2nd Ant 5 pts

3rd Zach 4 pts

4th Bing 3 pts

5th Rudy 2 pts

For the last part of the soccer challenge we constructed an obstacle course with our shoes that we dribbled the ball between and then raced back and made a shot on goal. The fastest time wins. Bing proved the quickest.

Time Trial

1st Bing 6 pts

2nd Ant 5 pts

3rd Jantz 4 pts

4th Zach 3 pts

5th Rudy 2 pts

Final results for the Soccer Challenge

1st Jantz 21

2nd Bing 18

3rd Ant 16

4th Zach 15

5th Rudy 10

For pics on the day check out the link below:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=212312&id=585605451&op=12

Calendar of Events UPDATED

A few changes to the Man Calendar were made this morning during Man Breakfast at PB's top notch diner, the Eggery. In addition to these changes, plans were also discussed about adding another round of golf to the calendar as well as the possibility of including an IQ Test to the list of challenges. Grab your pencils and save these dates...or do as Pete does and make plans and then totally ignore them until the day before and then realize you are an idiot for not taking care of business and proclaim that everyone is out to get you.

June 27th will no longer be Bar Golf. It has been changed to Arcade Night at Dave and Buster's. It will be a night event starting at 7ish.

July 11th will now be Bar Golf starting at 3 pm at either Bingaman's or Club Grand for the front nine and then Longboards for the start of back nine.

July 18th will now be Beach Olympics (horseshoes, cornhole, bocci ball) at 3 pm in PB and Beer Olympics (beer pong, flip cup and beer chug) at 8 pm

July 21st will no longer be Laser Tag and a Jalepeno Eating Contest. It has been changed to HR Derby starting at 11 am at the ballpark in Old Town

July 25th as of now is the Medley of Events and Century Club...our last challenge...but plans to add an additional round of golf here is being discussed. If that were to happen, we would push back the last event to Sunday August 1st.

For those of you that are interested in cheering on the Man Challengers, the remaining events offer up the perfect opportunity to join in the fun. Bar Golf is open to all that would like dress the part of a professional golfer and crawl your way through the PB bar circuit. Also the weekend after that--Beach Olympics--will be an all day beach day where you can come and play around on the shoes, bocci balls or just lay out and get your tan on. I would start requesting every Sunday off in July now if I were you.

As of now we have 18 events left which means that in just short of 3 months we have completed an amazing 32 events. It has been quite the summer so far. I look forward to the final push of events and crowning the first ever Man of the Year 2010!

Events We've Missed

So far we've pushed back only three events that I can think of.

Home Run Derby was postponed.

A Game of Risk was postponed.

Arcade Night was postponed.

I think we decided to cancel Risk (not manly enough) and decided to add an IQ Test (infinitely more shit talking possibilities wrapped up in this one).

We've also decided to scrap Laser Tag, given the impossible nature of scoring it against each other, and the Jalepeno Eating Contest, which was funny in theory, but downright detestable in reality.

This means we need to find room in our schedules for a night at the Arcade and a day at the ballpark for the Derby. The IQ test should be an easy one to plug in somewhere. Check out the schedule and let me know your availability in August.

Updating the Man Blog After Long Last

Meanwhile back at the ranch....

When we parted last Summer Of Man was in full swing. Five men were recovering from what turned out to be an epic 18 point night. And then all hell broke loose. Ant got engaged. Summer semi arrived and with it the arch nemesis of yours truly--day drinking.

Day drinking is an elusive art form. It takes perseverance, a lack of common sense and a strong liver. Oh and lots of Advil. San Diego, with its beaches and bars, could be considered the mecca of day drinking. Its easier to get a buzz than a job in San Diego right now. And summer hasn't even fully arrived yet. Mix in a couple weekends of graduations, birthdays and cruises and what you've got is a lack of man blogs.

Although the blog may have been slacking, the man challenge has remained in full effect. Up to a point. Summer of Man is alot like a baseball season. You have the electricity of opening day with all the fireworks and anticipation of a great season. But naturally when it comes to a 162 game season, a lull will set in and the doldrums of a lazy June and July have ruined teams in the past. SOM is a marathon and not a sprint. Tell that to the Frosted Flake aka Pistol Pete. The Pistol started out like a hot prospect, winning challenge after challenge. But the hot streak soon cooled and like a pitcher that threw too many innings in the minor leagues, he flamed out just as quickly. After missing the 18 point night, the Frosted Flake began a downward slide into oblivion and now finds himself looking up out of a 30 point hole. I'll bet the farm that when the man challenge mug is printed up at the end of the summer the inscription will not read Pete Lemke. A marathon, not a sprint.

Which brings us to the Darkhorse. Ant was always looked upon as the wild card, thus the nickname that I attached to him in the beginning of the challenge. He was the great unknown and in recent weeks as grown into his role as the unassuming and ever competitive Darkhorse. He pulled out a heady and impressive double win on Memorial Weekend, winning SOM 13-Car Push by pushing a Jetta roughly 30 yards uphill in just over 21 seconds and SOM 14-Hot Dog Eating Contest by eating 7 hotdogs in 7 minutes. He then went on in the next week and won his third in row--the TRIPLE CROWN--by taking SOM 15-Track Day, finishing first in the 40 yard dash, second in the 100 and third in the mile. Unfortunately drinking games seem to be his kryptonite and the Horse fell to fourth place recently in SOM 16-Beer Golf and finds himself still settled into the middle of the pack at 3rd place.

The other story line is the emergence of the Binghorse and the stranglehold that the Machine has on first place. Jantz has played the game brilliantly and has been in first place off and on since his dramatic win on the Kart Course back in SOM 5. But Bing's strong events are coming up and if he's sniffing first place (which he is, currently one back of Jantz in second) going into his events, we could see Bing at the top of the pack for quite some time...maybe even all the way to the end. Where Samson's strength was in his long hair, Bing's strength is in his liver. Or maybe more importantly in his throat. All gay jokes aside, the man can pound a beer better than 90% of people out there. Given his size he also has the ability to put down more liquour than his competitors, which puts him at an extreme advantage when it comes to challenges that involve the boozie. Take a look at the upcoming schedule of man events and you can see how this is playing right into Bing's strengths. Minus Beer Golf (which he over indulged on and ended giving it away) Bing looks to be the favorite in Bar Golf, Beer Pong, Flip Cup, Beer Chug and Century Club. The Darkhorse is allergic to booze, Jantz is built like a Swedish female runway model, the Flake has the tolerance of a 12 year old girl, which leaves Rude and myself as Bing's strongest competition. Rudy has yet to command an event and head to head, Bing can chug a beer like Bolt can run the 100. Hopefully Beer Golf was an indication of what's to come (details of that competition to follow).

So what have we covered so far? The Darkhorse is streaking but still in the middle of the pack, Bingawoman is looking to make some moves, Jantz can't push a car, but remains at the top with strong performances otherwise, Z$ is going to be the eventual Man of the Year 2010, and Peter's new nickname is the Frosted Flake. Which leaves us with Rudy. Rudy needs to do three things. One: realize we have a man calendar and Two: Read it. Third: Call me on the day of to nail down specifics. If he can successfully maneuver those two things, the sky is the limit for him. If not 34 points is a more likely limit.

Here are my thoughts so far and my predictions.

One: Peter is done. The man organizes his life like a bum organizes his shopping cart. It may look like he's got it all together to him, but to the rest of us it still resembles a pile of shit. All joking aside, the Pistol is a busy man and the man challenge proved in the end to be too much of a challenge for him. I'm predicting less than three more appearances this summer and a last place finish.

Two: Jantz is going to falter. The Machine is headed for a breakdown and one that will have a Frosted Flake tint to it. Jantz has added to his already full plate the Fire Academy. This is going to cut into this vital practice time, which he thrives on. What is Jantz going to do when he can't hit the pool this week and bang out a couple laps in preperation for the Swimming Relay? I predict a 4th place finish by the Machine.

Three: Rudy is going to make a late push. Fact...Rudy is done with school. Fact...Rudy no longer has his old job. These two things kept Rudy from making a large number of events. Take those away and the Rude is set to sway some competitions his way. Unfortunately for him, the push will come too late and the hole he has dug himself into will prove to be too deep. I predict a 5th place finish.

Four: DJ Darkhorse is a competitor, through and through. Don't question his age, his desire, his preperation, his size, his mind games. He has come to play. As exhibited on Memorial Weekend, he will beat you through sheer will power (Bing outweighed him by 20 lbs and he still pushed a car uphill faster) and he will beat you mentally (he had us all believing he was forfeiting the hot dog eating competition). He never misses a challenge, which with this group goes a long way. He's generally the first one to arrive and hands down is the first to text "so what's the plans" when a challenge day comes. An all around competitor. Unfortunately for him, we have drinking games on the horizon and the Horse doesn't like the bottle. I predict a 3rd place finish.

Five: Which Bing will show up for the rest of the summer? There are two Bingamans if you don't know. There is sober Bingaman and then there is drunk Bingaman. Sober Bing brings wine and cheese to your dinner party and makes polite conversation with your mom. Drunk Bing brings a box of Franzia, eats a whole roasted pig with his bare hands and leaves with your sister possibly pregnant. Sober Bingaman can win this thing. Drunk Bingaman has a better chance of getting his job back at PF Changs than he does of winning. I have continually tried to get Bingaman drunk for man challenges for this specific reason. Bowling was lost, the Car Push was lost, the Hot Dog Eating and Beer Golf was lost all in part because Bing got a little more drunk than he wanted. Now the perfect opportunity comes in that our drinking competitions are coming up and my only hope is that Drunk Bing passes out early and often. If Drunk Bing gets kicked out of the bars early during Bar Golf, gets so hammered he sees double for the beer pong tourney and throws up all over himself during the Century Club, I have a chance to win this thing. I predict a 2nd place finish.

Six: Which leaves me, zVirus. Once left for dead, the eldest competitor is standing strong. Notching a couple wins here and there, I've placed myself in prime position to make a strong push to the end. Out of all the competitors I am the most balanced. I have the skill to win the Home Run Derby, the mind to take the IQ contest and the drinking ability to hang with the best (Bing). My schedule is as wide open as your mother and I've got stamina for days. I will not miss another challenge, I've got more strategy than A-Rod facing a pee test and most of all I can't face losing a competition I invented. I predict a 1ST PLACE FINISH.

In the blogs to follow, I will lay out the details of the missing events, starting with the Football and Soccer Challenges and ending with the round of Beer Golf we just finished (and that I'm still recovering from). As of now, we've hit the 30 event mark. With 20 to go the scoreboard is as follows:

Bing 70

Jantz 69

Ant 67

Zach 65

Rudy 35

Peter 34

Long time no read

Things have been hectic lately to say the least.

The Darkhorse got engaged.

Drinking on a boat followed.

We ate massive amounts of hot dogs.

Drinking in an alley followed.

Bingawoman turned 24.

Drinking on a boat once again followed.

Safe to say with the massive amount of hours spent drinking lately an even massiver amount of hours have been spent hungover doing absolutely nothing. (sorry, i would have used a better word than "massiver"--which probably isn't even a word--but i drank away any knowledge i had of vocab words bigger than "shots"). Writing involves creativity, focus and patience, all things that are physically impossible with a blinding headache caused by a session in front of a bottle of Skyy. I'd rather swallow burning glass than stare at a bright screen typing witticisms about the man challenge. Which is why this has been one of three blogs uploaded in the past three weeks.

One of those posts was from the Darkhorse and lets just say what a brilliant post it was. Brilliant for one reason and one reason only. The Darkhorse has a logo. A brand. His very own Nike Swoosh.

We have created a Monster. And I love it.

The Darkhorse is on a heater that can only be compared to Charlie Babbitt's run in Vegas. Got engaged, won three events in a row, got branded. He's like the anti-Peter right now.

Tomorrow is a big day. The pack has seperated a bit. With Pete falling behind like retarded kid in eighth grade math and Rudy continuing on his streak of fifth place finishes, four challengers have pulled away. The top four are only seperated by a mere 3 points. The Bing sits atop the polls with 60, with the Machine and the Horse close behind at 59 and Z$ at 57.

to be continued....

Darkhorse Wins The Triple Crown

With SOM fully underway, the mysterious Darkhorse is quickly emerging as an all out favorite after winning the first ever Man Challenge Triple Crown - Car Push, Hot Dog Eating Contest, & Track Day. The Horse will go for history this Wednesday, June 9th trying to earn himself the first ever back to back to back to back wins...that's 4 backs in case you lost count. This feat has yet to be accomplished by any man in the history of SOM.

"I wish the best of luck to all my competitors. As one of the wiser elders of the group, I've learned that actions speak louder than words. These Pony's have a few years left before they reach their full stride and can run with the Stallions such as myself," says Triple Crown Winner DJ Darkhorse. "My prayer is that these young pony's will one day look back on the SOM 2010 and remember the one true great competitor named "Darkhorse" when they think of what its like to be a man."

DJ Darkhorse looks to continue his winning streak at the Chili Cookoff next Wednesday at Club Grand. With a perfect record at every publicized event, the Horse is looking to carry his winning momentum into the next challenge and hopefully earn himself a place in the history books.

"Chili is not so much food as a state of mind. Addictions to it are formed early in life and the victims never recover. After Wednesday's competition, my name will be etched in the minds of every competitor and more importantly the SOM Record Book...Mark My Words!"