What you are about to read is not a rendition of any kind. This will shed light on what it really takes to become a man challenger. It's not filled with funny fictional stories that we all laugh at because I actually have the qualifications to fill out a resume. I could sit here and fill in the massive gaps between manly accomplishments with cute myths like my other competitors, but there are no gaps and it's all real baby. Some might say, "Jason, it's too serious!" That's because all facts aren't always humorous, but just a true statement. If we were telling jokes I might lose, but here being funny wins you nothing. The resume will only highlight my talents that are required for the challenges due to time and space restraints.
Jason "The Machine" Jantz
123 Ur Mom is Still Here So Come Get Her Dr. Manville, CA 92108
(858) I-OWN-YOU
blowme@downstairs.com
Objective
To conquer all who stands in my way of hoisting SOM's 2010 "Man of the Year" trophy.
Man Challenger
I'm a super competitive man by nature with a refuse-to-lose attitude committed to giving it my all at every event. A very high pain threshold will allow me to push my muscles to a place beyond their normal functioning levels. My I.Q. level that hovers just below genius helps when picking up new rules, games, and sports if there are actually any that exist. Also comes in handy when figuring angles, speeds, distances, and time to achieve top performance in whatever I am attempting to master. I have endurance for the long events and speed for the short ones, just ask all the women in your life gentlemen. You would be a fool not to accept me for the 2010 Man Challenge. Haven't you heard the following saying? If you want to be the best then you must beat the best! Here is you chance clowns!!!
Qualifications
- 3 yr starter on nationally ranked rugby team - We placed 11th, 8th, and 5th in the nation! This is one of if not the roughest sport in the world and is as manly as you get.
- Skydived by myself (not tandem) - I climbed out onto an airplane wing at 2,000ft and jumped off. Talk about having nerves of steel!
- Member of 14,000 ft Club - I climbed Long's Peak (14,259ft) without ice gear and only a pair of Adidas. Not sure anyone else on this planet can claim that!
- I've out run the cops twice in my lifetime - Done it once by car and once by motorcycle. Nothing will stop me...not the law and definitely not you!
- Jumped off a crane at 15o ft in the air with only a couple of rubber bands attached to my ankles - I loved it so much I did it twice in a row for the extra rush.
- Went running with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain - Not only did I run with them but when in the ring with the 1,200 lb bulls I grabbed one by the horn and we danced.
- I have eaten an entire large pizza (including crust) and 6 wings in one sitting - I might be lean but I have a HUGE appetite!
- Drinking 101 - I have completed the following challenges: Century Club, Edward Fortyhands, 4 beers in 1 bong, Jager + pickle juice chug
- Drive Motorcycles - I owned a street bike for many years and still play on dirt bikes. Whatever speed I can't reach by foot then I make up for it on machine!
- Surfed the rough waters off the black sandy coast of Piha in New Zealand - I survived due to my superior mental and physical strength.
- Placed 3rd in Planet Hollywood Casino's daily poker tournament in Las Vegas - It was not the $1,000 I won, but the validation of my card skills that gave me pride.
- Completed 3 triathlons - 1 Olympic (top 30 finish), 2 Sprints (top 30 & top 5 finish) This shows my versatility, endurance, and will to win!
- Training to become a firefighter - I'll be running into burning buildings and saving lives...enough said!
Tell me the rules to any game (sports, board, electronic, dice, video, cards, computer, etc.) and I will have an immediate impact by contending for the top spot, if not winning. It does not matter whether I've played the game before or even heard of it. All without breaking a sweat and smelling great while doing it!
jantz...fantastic my man.
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