Our 16th competition was penciled in back in March as simply a "cookoff." What we would be cooking or how it would be judged was something we figured we could nail down later. The week before the cookoff, as we began to iron out the details, we realized that there was a little more to than just saying we were going to have a cookoff and then doing it. In theory it seemed simple. In actuality there were alot of little things we had failed to consider. At first we contemplated each man making his "go to" dish (the deal sealer as I like to call it, as in when you have a date with a lady and you want to seal the deal, this is the dish you make) and then having a panel of judges decide which dish they like the best. The problems involved in this scenario were numerous. How to judge a lasagna against shrimp tacos? What if a judge liked Mexican and another preferred Chinese? Who's to say that wouldn't sway the voting? So we decided that it would be better if we all made the same dish...a universally recognized dish...and then had the judges decide on that. But what to make? Burgers? Tacos? Lasagna? We couldn't go with a dish that somebody already had on lock. So we decided on something that no one had ever made as well as something that could be made in a variety of ways....chili.
Each man was given these instructions:
Make a distinct pot of chili and make enough to feed five judges.
You will be judged on presentation, creativity and taste.
That's it.
In the end, our intructions proved to be too open ended.
We held the competition at Club Grand and with the help of Rach and Nikki, the stage was set for an all out reality show type of cook off, complete with a judges table, an audience and a privacy curtain hiding the competitors from the judges. Our panel consisted of five judges--three men and two women--all friends chosen for either their appetites or their critical eye for food. The men descended upon the kitchen and quickly began setting up for the battle. Space would prove to be an element of the challenge as well as timing. Loren (subbing in for an absent Rudy) was sabotaged-in his mind at least-by poor timing and not being able to get to what he needed in a busy kitchen.
The judges were given score cards with each of the categories present. Our mistake was not having a clear cut judging process. The judges were told to judge each competitor by ranking them in each category 1-5. We forgot one mainstay of cooking competitions and that was to rank taste heavier than presentation or creativity. This was just one of many of the problems we came across when it came to the judging.
The chilis were presented and Jantz went first offering up a veggie version of chili. (sidenote: Jantz should have been disqualified right then and there when he made VEGETARIAN chili for a man's challenge, but we had a very veggie tainted audience that so no problem with this so we allowed it) Z$ went second trotting out a mini bread bowl filled with exceptional chili. Bing's chili came next and was served San Francisco style in a traditional breadbowl complete with a buttered lid. Judges commented that they enjoyed the spice level of this dish. Ant blew away the judges next with his presentation, hollowing out mulit colored bell peppers with a creative take on the bread bowl idea. And finally Loren amazed the panel with his straight from the can chili served over White Castle microwaveable french fries. His fries ended up being burned in the oven and his chili had cooled to a thick paste by the time he presented it. One judge commented on how it resembled shit on a plate...and didn't taste much better.
The judges filled out their cards and the results were gathered. Bing ended up scoring the highest with Ant in second, Jantz in third (a TRAVESTY! I mean really Veggie frigging chili at a man challenge), Zach fourth and Loren's shit on a plate taking a distant last place.
And then the controversial moment of the night occurred.
Each competitor came out from behind the curtain and revealed to the judges which chili was their's. They were asked to describe how they made their chili and where their inspiration for the presentation came from. Jantz sucked up to the female judges for making a girly non meat chili which he claimed showed creativity (and a lack of male genitalia), Ant commented on how we had discussed bread bowls and did not want to do the same thing he thought I was going to do and put it in a bread bowl, which would be typical (and in the end exactly what the judge's wanted), I bitterly presented my chili as the best tasting but telling how I sabotaged myself by trying to be too cutsy with the mini bread bowls in sweet Hawaiin rolls, everyone made fun of Loren and then came time for the Bingaman to tell about his award winning chili and all the hardwork that had gone into it. After tossing around a bunch of bullshit about his grandmother's secret recipe, the truth came out that Bingaman had no idea how his chili was made. He bought it at Von's in the deli section. He did maintain that the chili was his by claiming that he added ingredients to it that made it is. Probably chopped up jalepenos and cream cheese. And so by adding a couple things to a store bought chili he was able to say that it was his own. Technically no, but the loophole did exist. We had never said you couldn't buy chili and then add to it. A quick vote was taken and the men decided that yes his hard work of putting it in **gasp** a bread bowl and then adding some things to it it kind of made it home made.
And this was how Bingaman cheated his way into a first place finish in the chili cook off. The judges felt duped, picking a store bought chili and not knowing it clashed with the idea that they had a discerning palette. And in the end after all was said and done, one thing resonated....
How could a real man be OK with winning a cooking competition by buying the dish?
Bingawoman can only answer that question.
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