Summer of MAN: Football Challenge Update

After long last here are the football and soccer challenge scores. We based our challenge after the Punt Pass and Kick Competition made famous by the NFL All Star Weekend Halftime show. I was going to post a link showing how we matched up to our 12 year old counterparts but they measured everything in feet and I'm lazy right now and didn't feel like converting it to yards and I also didn't want to find out that some little twerp owned us. The Man Challengers met up early in the morning at the OB fields so that the weak ass frosted flake could make it before work and **gasp** he didn't make it, deciding to sleep in instead. The 8 AM start time could be pointed to as the reason for our uncharacterstic weak performances. Although when it comes down to it, kicking a field is alot harder than it looks. Don't believe me? Go out and try it. Jantz with his long ass legs ended up winning the FG portion of our challenge, but as a group we were pretty bad as a whole. I have a newfound respect for NFL kickers after this challenge. Jantz's kick I would guess was maybe a 30 yarder and was the long kick of the day. Rudy and I both tried and failed at that distance and moved five yards (and then another 5 yards) closer, until Rudy finally kicked one through the uprights and I shanked mine. Ant hit at that distance as well, but had already used his one mulligan and came in fourth with Bing being the weakest link and from what I remember, not even being able to get the kick up in the air.

The second challenge was the punt which was dismal to say the least. We each had three kicks and we'd be taking our best kick out of those three. Ant started out and he felt that he didn't get his best kick in and ended up rolling his best maybe 40 yards or so. I went second and also rolled one up the field past Ant's best but still nothing spectacular. Rudy ended up getting a couple better kicks off as well as Bing but Jantz's long legs prevailed again (as well as his shoe change). Sidenote: Jantz brought five or so pairs of shoes, changing each time from challenge to challenge. We mocked him mercilessly, but it may actually have worked given his success.

The third challenge was Passing Accuracy which technically wasn't part of the initial challenge but was added last minute so that everything wasn't based on strength, but also on a little bit of touch. We stood 15 yards apart and threw from a flat footed stance. A shot to the chest was worth a point and a head shot was worth two. You had ten throws and most points won. Ant took first with a 14, I came in second with 13 and the rest of the turds were less than that. I don't really remember and Bing lost the scorecard so who really knows the actual scores.

The last challenge was the long throw which we decided was a mix of strength (how far) and accuracy (had to be between the uprights). Each challenger had one mulligan and we started out at the twenty yard line and moved back five yards after every successful throw. Rudy won the challenge throwing all the way back on maybe the 40 yard line but it could have been alot closer than that. I'm just guessing.

At the end of the challenge, after all the points had been added up from each challenge, we had two ties. One tie for third and fourth between Ant and I (which we dubbed Battle of Club Grand) and the other tie for first place between Rudy and Jantz. Bing offered up quite possibly the most genius idea that man challenge has had up to this point.

The tie breaker would be decided by Oklahomas.

For those of you unfamiliar with this term, let me explain. Oklahomas are a drill run routinely on every practice football field from San Francisco to New York City. Two men lay on the ground head to head with one holding a football. On the whistle the two men spring to action with the goal of the ball carrier breaking past the defender to cross a line ten yards away. The defender's goal is to (pardon me mother) knock the shit out of the ball carrier. An unsuccessful try means the ball is passed to the other until a goal is scored at which point in time the loser has the chance to score to tie it back up. It is a quintessential man challenge. Ant and I ran at each other 14 times I think? before Ant finally pulled a sweet move on me and broke the goal line and then stopped my rebuttal by knocking me down and causing a fumble. Jantz and Rudy also had a similiar confrontation, running into each other 14 times as well until Rudy finally just bulldozed over a much lighter Jantz. I'll just say shoe string tackle by Jantz and leave it at that because that will bring a smile to the faces of those of us involved, which was probably the highlight of the Oklahomas. Rudy ended up with the top spot, which was huge because that was his first first place finish in SOM. Ant wrapped up third and ironically enough Bing, Mr. Football-the man who came up with the OK idea and was the most stoked about it, didn't get to participate in one Oklahoma and ended up in last place. An odd detail to say the least. For some reason I didn't realize this that day. The early start maybe making me a bit fuzzy. So to break it all down....

Field Goal Kick

1st Jantz 6 pts

2nd Zach 5 pts

3rd Rudy 4 pts

4th Ant 3 pts

5th Bing 2 pts

Punt

1st Jantz 6 pts

2nd Bing 5 pts

3rd Rudy 4 pts

4th Zach 3 pts

5th Ant 2 pts