Meanwhile back at the ranch....
When we parted last Summer Of Man was in full swing. Five men were recovering from what turned out to be an epic 18 point night. And then all hell broke loose. Ant got engaged. Summer semi arrived and with it the arch nemesis of yours truly--day drinking.
Day drinking is an elusive art form. It takes perseverance, a lack of common sense and a strong liver. Oh and lots of Advil. San Diego, with its beaches and bars, could be considered the mecca of day drinking. Its easier to get a buzz than a job in San Diego right now. And summer hasn't even fully arrived yet. Mix in a couple weekends of graduations, birthdays and cruises and what you've got is a lack of man blogs.
Although the blog may have been slacking, the man challenge has remained in full effect. Up to a point. Summer of Man is alot like a baseball season. You have the electricity of opening day with all the fireworks and anticipation of a great season. But naturally when it comes to a 162 game season, a lull will set in and the doldrums of a lazy June and July have ruined teams in the past. SOM is a marathon and not a sprint. Tell that to the Frosted Flake aka Pistol Pete. The Pistol started out like a hot prospect, winning challenge after challenge. But the hot streak soon cooled and like a pitcher that threw too many innings in the minor leagues, he flamed out just as quickly. After missing the 18 point night, the Frosted Flake began a downward slide into oblivion and now finds himself looking up out of a 30 point hole. I'll bet the farm that when the man challenge mug is printed up at the end of the summer the inscription will not read Pete Lemke. A marathon, not a sprint.
Which brings us to the Darkhorse. Ant was always looked upon as the wild card, thus the nickname that I attached to him in the beginning of the challenge. He was the great unknown and in recent weeks as grown into his role as the unassuming and ever competitive Darkhorse. He pulled out a heady and impressive double win on Memorial Weekend, winning SOM 13-Car Push by pushing a Jetta roughly 30 yards uphill in just over 21 seconds and SOM 14-Hot Dog Eating Contest by eating 7 hotdogs in 7 minutes. He then went on in the next week and won his third in row--the TRIPLE CROWN--by taking SOM 15-Track Day, finishing first in the 40 yard dash, second in the 100 and third in the mile. Unfortunately drinking games seem to be his kryptonite and the Horse fell to fourth place recently in SOM 16-Beer Golf and finds himself still settled into the middle of the pack at 3rd place.
The other story line is the emergence of the Binghorse and the stranglehold that the Machine has on first place. Jantz has played the game brilliantly and has been in first place off and on since his dramatic win on the Kart Course back in SOM 5. But Bing's strong events are coming up and if he's sniffing first place (which he is, currently one back of Jantz in second) going into his events, we could see Bing at the top of the pack for quite some time...maybe even all the way to the end. Where Samson's strength was in his long hair, Bing's strength is in his liver. Or maybe more importantly in his throat. All gay jokes aside, the man can pound a beer better than 90% of people out there. Given his size he also has the ability to put down more liquour than his competitors, which puts him at an extreme advantage when it comes to challenges that involve the boozie. Take a look at the upcoming schedule of man events and you can see how this is playing right into Bing's strengths. Minus Beer Golf (which he over indulged on and ended giving it away) Bing looks to be the favorite in Bar Golf, Beer Pong, Flip Cup, Beer Chug and Century Club. The Darkhorse is allergic to booze, Jantz is built like a Swedish female runway model, the Flake has the tolerance of a 12 year old girl, which leaves Rude and myself as Bing's strongest competition. Rudy has yet to command an event and head to head, Bing can chug a beer like Bolt can run the 100. Hopefully Beer Golf was an indication of what's to come (details of that competition to follow).
So what have we covered so far? The Darkhorse is streaking but still in the middle of the pack, Bingawoman is looking to make some moves, Jantz can't push a car, but remains at the top with strong performances otherwise, Z$ is going to be the eventual Man of the Year 2010, and Peter's new nickname is the Frosted Flake. Which leaves us with Rudy. Rudy needs to do three things. One: realize we have a man calendar and Two: Read it. Third: Call me on the day of to nail down specifics. If he can successfully maneuver those two things, the sky is the limit for him. If not 34 points is a more likely limit.
Here are my thoughts so far and my predictions.
One: Peter is done. The man organizes his life like a bum organizes his shopping cart. It may look like he's got it all together to him, but to the rest of us it still resembles a pile of shit. All joking aside, the Pistol is a busy man and the man challenge proved in the end to be too much of a challenge for him. I'm predicting less than three more appearances this summer and a last place finish.
Two: Jantz is going to falter. The Machine is headed for a breakdown and one that will have a Frosted Flake tint to it. Jantz has added to his already full plate the Fire Academy. This is going to cut into this vital practice time, which he thrives on. What is Jantz going to do when he can't hit the pool this week and bang out a couple laps in preperation for the Swimming Relay? I predict a 4th place finish by the Machine.
Three: Rudy is going to make a late push. Fact...Rudy is done with school. Fact...Rudy no longer has his old job. These two things kept Rudy from making a large number of events. Take those away and the Rude is set to sway some competitions his way. Unfortunately for him, the push will come too late and the hole he has dug himself into will prove to be too deep. I predict a 5th place finish.
Four: DJ Darkhorse is a competitor, through and through. Don't question his age, his desire, his preperation, his size, his mind games. He has come to play. As exhibited on Memorial Weekend, he will beat you through sheer will power (Bing outweighed him by 20 lbs and he still pushed a car uphill faster) and he will beat you mentally (he had us all believing he was forfeiting the hot dog eating competition). He never misses a challenge, which with this group goes a long way. He's generally the first one to arrive and hands down is the first to text "so what's the plans" when a challenge day comes. An all around competitor. Unfortunately for him, we have drinking games on the horizon and the Horse doesn't like the bottle. I predict a 3rd place finish.
Five: Which Bing will show up for the rest of the summer? There are two Bingamans if you don't know. There is sober Bingaman and then there is drunk Bingaman. Sober Bing brings wine and cheese to your dinner party and makes polite conversation with your mom. Drunk Bing brings a box of Franzia, eats a whole roasted pig with his bare hands and leaves with your sister possibly pregnant. Sober Bingaman can win this thing. Drunk Bingaman has a better chance of getting his job back at PF Changs than he does of winning. I have continually tried to get Bingaman drunk for man challenges for this specific reason. Bowling was lost, the Car Push was lost, the Hot Dog Eating and Beer Golf was lost all in part because Bing got a little more drunk than he wanted. Now the perfect opportunity comes in that our drinking competitions are coming up and my only hope is that Drunk Bing passes out early and often. If Drunk Bing gets kicked out of the bars early during Bar Golf, gets so hammered he sees double for the beer pong tourney and throws up all over himself during the Century Club, I have a chance to win this thing. I predict a 2nd place finish.
Six: Which leaves me, zVirus. Once left for dead, the eldest competitor is standing strong. Notching a couple wins here and there, I've placed myself in prime position to make a strong push to the end. Out of all the competitors I am the most balanced. I have the skill to win the Home Run Derby, the mind to take the IQ contest and the drinking ability to hang with the best (Bing). My schedule is as wide open as your mother and I've got stamina for days. I will not miss another challenge, I've got more strategy than A-Rod facing a pee test and most of all I can't face losing a competition I invented. I predict a 1ST PLACE FINISH.
In the blogs to follow, I will lay out the details of the missing events, starting with the Football and Soccer Challenges and ending with the round of Beer Golf we just finished (and that I'm still recovering from). As of now, we've hit the 30 event mark. With 20 to go the scoreboard is as follows:
Bing 70
Jantz 69
Ant 67
Zach 65
Rudy 35
Peter 34
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